Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
