Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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