This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
40s are totally the cure
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
A bitchslap is in order.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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