Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
