Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
