Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
