The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Alive.
So much puke
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
