Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
