if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Are my feet made of real feet?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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