dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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