I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
