hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
