Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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