The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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