Where is the hickey?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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