One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
