I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
