So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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