Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
