Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
