your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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