We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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