We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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