Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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