yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
