I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
