i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
My ass is underappreciated
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
