I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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