she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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