but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
