This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
