I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
