i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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