bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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