It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
