Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
