You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
