How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
