yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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