you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
