Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
no, he came in my armpit
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
