trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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