Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
