Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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