Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
