If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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