I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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