Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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