She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
