I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
